| Heart on Fire

Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Woot Woot

18:47 | Posted by Unknown | | Edit Post

I'm pretty excited i got a call back from the Academy of Broadcasting the other day. So yesterday i went for the tests and did really well so my application form was sent off. One of the teachers actually said i have great potential so I'm hopeful that I'll get accepted, keeping my fingers crossed :). Finally i feel like my life is starting to turn around, sadly still looking for a damn job though, oh well...

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Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Love that transcends time

02:11 | Posted by Unknown | | Edit Post

You read books and watch movies that speak of love like its so wonderful and with it you can over come anything like space and time. That there is someone out there for everyone, that when two hearts are destined to be together they will find their way back to each other. Can you imagine a love like that? one that is so powerful and true that it makes every dream and sorrow worth it, that no matter what you can concur all. Can you imagine that there is a person out there that you are meant to be with? That even when you die and your soul is reborn in the next life you will find each other once more even though you may not know it right from the start. Wouldn't that be wonderful if love was like that in real life ( i know i sure do). Jane Austen fell in love with a man with whom she could not be with because of his family's status, not enough money to support her in life. Jane never got married, she loved one man all her life. I can bet she never for one second forgot about him and you can see that through her books. For those who have watched Little House On The Prairies and loved Marry and Adam sorry to disappoint you but the real Marry never did get married, there was no Adam Kendell. But the one big love story in that show was Laura and Almonzo, their love store is one to remember. Hardships, age difference, lose of children, failed crops and illnesses, yet through all of it their love prevailed until their last days together. Even though Hollywood or authors may make love grander then it truly is don't give up faith on your happily every after. You may have to weed out plenty of guys to find the right one, go through heartache and hard times but there is a happy ending for everyone out there whether or not its with someone......live life to the fullest, have no regrets, and love as much as you can even when it seems hopeless. It's never wrong to love someone even if it doesn't work out because at least you gave it your all...

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Thursday, 20 October 2011

About time

15:33 | Posted by Unknown | | Edit Post

So my life has completely turned a 180 in the last couple of weeks its nuts...its hard to swallow all the changes that have happened. I finally gave my two weeks notice for my crappy ass job, now on the hunt for a new one with not much luck sadly ( thank god I've got money in my savings). I finally decided to register for school pretty excited yet uber nervous, hopping for the best and hopefully i don't totally suck at broadcasting. Just found out that my grandpa might have cancer so I'm freaking out a little bit, hope after all the tests are done that it comes back negative ugh :(... I guess all the crap and bullshit that's gone down this month toughened me up enough to stop being so afraid and to let go of all the stress and bullshit from people in my life. I'm just so glad i don't have a gaping hole in my chest nore have i cried once since all went to hell..guess I'm just so immune to it now it cant really affect me like it used to, and probably cuz i know it was gonna happen sooner or later, maybe not hear the shit that it did but i know it was bound to happen. Maybe its cuz for the first time i wasn't the one that went back that i knew it was all fake and that none of it was real. i mean come on it didn't take a genius to figure out that i was being used and that i didn't really matter ( never have mattered) to them so w.e in all reality its not my lose. I mean duh it hurt to hear that shit cuz i had felt everything i had said but not enough to destroy me like he was hopping for ( I'm so sorry, NOT). i mean ya clearly there is so much id like to have said but what would have been the point, i got the closure I've been needing for almost three years. Love is a very complicated thing, like someone once said " it sucks when the person you love doesn't love you back" and a very amazing artist once said " sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it hurts instead". life moves on, no more looking to the past, now its time to look at the future :). At least i can say thanks to the asshole i made a great friend so i guess that means i cant totally regret meeting him, as she has said " everything happens for a reason ". Time to follow a new path...

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Saturday, 25 June 2011

MY LOVE FOR MUSIC...

20:36 | Posted by Unknown | | Edit Post

Getting lost in my music is my one true joy in life. I love the pounding of the beat in my ear drums. I could close my eyes and lose my self in the splendor of it. It's like the music surrounds me in a bubble of pure peace and calm. It feels me up with hope, that there isn't a reason to doubt, it gives me energy when I feel dead, brings me back to life when I feel like I want to give up on everything. It gives me this sense of power, like I could concur this world, that I'm capable of doing anything. Music fits my every mood from sad, to happy and excited to lazy and Hindi. Music has such power on this world that's why it's one of the oldest ways to communicate and celebrate. The world would be dole and lifeless without the power of inspiration music gives to the world. It speaks volume to so many people, singers sing from their heart and soul. Giving hope to people everywhere, every human being has at least one song they can connect to. Music gives people a voice to stand up for what they believe in, the courage to make a difference at time through song. Lady gaga's new single is about accepting ones self and forget what other people think, to not judge others and believe in your self no matter what is going on.

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Sunday, 5 June 2011

Hidden

20:09 | Posted by Unknown | | Edit Post

I've been living the past month with a wall surrounding my heart because I didn't want to feel pain or sadness. I've been wanting to feel alive and not dead inside. I've been doing a pretty good job at it not going to lie, i've been having the time of my life with my friends and the night staff at work. I've laughed more then I ever have, but deep down i knew that sooner or later the wall would break away because i've felt it give away for the last couple of days..I hate it the stupid dreams came back and its really starting to piss me off, im not even thinking about that shit but BAM it hits me like a truck all over again, my heart feels heavy. I've been flirting with guys and there was even a guy who wants to go out with me but i dont trust anyone. My heart feels so closed off from the world. And this guy seems like such a sweetheart too and ugh what the hell is wrong with me fuck I hate my self right now its not even funny. Its so easy to flirt with someone when you feel nothing for them, it feels like they are missing something...idk anymore....fuck

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Thursday, 26 May 2011

Well fuck..

20:39 | Posted by Unknown | | Edit Post

Ugh seriously sorry i haven't blogged in a week, my head has been all over the place lately sorry :(. I've had so much I've been wanting to blog but just didn't know how to put it down in words and I've had other reasons for not coming on here....So I've been super busy with work, my shifts are so messed up right now and the other day I had to work a 11 hour shift because some people i work with are to fucken lazy to learn how to do their goddamn job so i had to be woken up which by the way totally sucked because it was the first time in what three Weeks that I've been able to sleep...I've been working my ass off in a zombie state of mind thanks to ZERO amount of sleep thanks to stupid dreams i'd rather not have about fucken people that should clearly be out of my goddamn mind by now but nope my subconsciousness apparently hates me at night thanks alot brain..I swear though if its not stupid retarded dreams that are keeping me up its stupid guys calling me at six in the damn morning like really why..What ever i'm just hoping as the weeks go by my brain will forget the past forever and i'll be able to sleep again and not have any sorta pain in my chest even though it hasnt really surfaced which is awesome i must say im being much stronger then I thought i would be :) go me hehehehe. I just wish i could figure out how to stop following a blog ugh ive been trying for weeks to figure it out, i bet that person thinks im a creeper or some shit hahha the funny thing is i dont wanna see the crap anymore because its gonna bring me nothing in the end right :P. So as an awesome distraction i've gotten into my anime again lol im hooked again which is ok with me because i kinda missed it so ya, ive been doing a lot of reading and crap and now so disappointed with it because they brought my fav character back from the dead which is awesome but not at the same time because now hes being controlled and is make of clay :( so cant wait to see how the story is going to unfold. What else have i been up to well then let me think....hmmmmmmmmmmm OH monday me and my bestie went to the mall to go and get Lady GaGa's new cd which rocks by the way so bought the extended edition heheheh. Then we left HMV satisfied we went to movies to watch the new Pirates movie which was ok still not as good as the first two though. Oh and now I have a new phone and number which im so effing happy about YAY i finally got my blackbarry and its a nice dark purple to ugh i love my phone its my baby lol :P now i wont have stupid people calling me at six anymore :).But so far i think thats really all i have to say at the moment im kinda tired and ya anyways people or the one person i think reads this sorry and hope to have to write soon....love you all xoxoxoxoox

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Saturday, 14 May 2011

Things are starting to look up :)

21:06 | Posted by Unknown | | Edit Post

Thank god this rain has finally stopped and the sun is finally coming out. Enough with the emo weather i swear Winnipeg weather is bi-polar lol :P. I swear I'm in the best mood ever lately, work is finally going good. I'm having fun being a key holder and the night staff is awesome, having good times and laughing my ass off with these crazy ass kids :P. My bestie is effing amazing i swear i love her to death i don't know what i would do with out her in my life she is my rock :). For my two days off i walked my puppy and went over to her place and had a girls night. Brought a chick flick and popcorn and just chilled until she started to pass out hahaha. Then today we took a long ass walk and took my puppy to the vet to book a appointment and then went to the liquored mart cuz I've been dying for my drink lol. Met some pretty awesome people on my way home, all of which had dogs. I swear people who have dogs or any pet for that matter is way friendlier or maybe I'm just starting to open my eyes to the world and letting my self go free. This one guy let his dog come play with Shadow for a bit, he was so sweet and told me hes been biking for miles with his dog and ya he was pretty cool then he offered Shadow a drink which was good cuz my poor boy was thirsty. Then all three of us ( me, shadow and my bestie) walked home. Then vacated to sun room once home and chilled with my bestie and talked and drank some booze lol. I probably should have drank so fast lol got a buzz but it was a nice feeling. Opened my eyes to so much stuff. Life isn't so bad once you open up and see what you have, that's what i finally did and i believe that there is something amazing waiting out there for me and i will find it :) life is wonderful and its time to stop looking at in a negative way. I'm happy to have what i have, enough being sad over stuff i don't, i never gets anyone anywhere in life. I'm so fricking happy that I'm blasting music while i shower and sing my heart out and dance like crazy. I'm 21 its time to start living my life instead of living it through someone else....... Thank you to everyone who hasn't given up on me and stayed by my side no matter what i love you all :) xoxoxoxoxoxo

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Woot Woot

Love that transcends time

About time

MY LOVE FOR MUSIC...

Hidden

Well fuck..

Things are starting to look up :)

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