Search This Blog
About me
- Unknown
Followers
My Blog List
-
~Promo Tour~ Angela Scavone - *PROMO TOUR FOR ANGELA SCAVONE* Love by the Book & A Journey Home *LOVE BY THE BOOK* *Genre:* Contemporary Romance Fairytales don’t always work out the ...
Popular Posts
-
Sweet Evil is the first Angelic, Demonic book by Wendy Higgins. Book description: Embrace the Forbidden What if there were teens whose ...
-
I know this may sound really stupid and crazy to some people but I really don't care. Ever since I started reading books I've had a ...
-
Published: July25th, 2013 Author: Bailey Ardisone Series: Sweet #2 Book Blurb: Sometimes the hardest war to fight...
-
Author Genre: Sci Fi Fantasy Series: Blood Skies Author: Steven Montano BLOOD SKI...
-
Palmistry, tarot card reading or crystal ball readings, most people are sceptical when it comes to theses. Many people fear them, they be...
-
Between is the first instalment in the Between series by the Very talented Cyndi Tefft. Book description: It just figures that the...
-
Choices by Sydney Lane Published 2013 Release date summer 2013 Fate brought her her e, but will her choices destr...
-
Of Poseidon is the first installment of the Of Poseidon series by Anna Banks Book description: Galen is the prince of the Syrena, sent...
-
Jenna Ryan is the kind of girl everyone wants for a friend. Her spunky and carefree outlook on life often leads to trouble of the b...
-
Heaven in the third instalment in the Halo trilogy by Alexandra Adornetto. She is one of the youngest authors that I have had the pleasure o...
Powered by Blogger.
Sunday, 26 August 2012
I try not to dwell to much on the past but sometimes it just sneaks up on you all over again. I could simply be reading a passage in a book or be watching a scene of a movie and the memories will rush back to me. Whit it it always brings on waves of soul shattering pain all over again. Most times I can handle it but sometimes I'm just to weak to fight it and let it cripple me. I'll curl into the fettle position and breath heavy and weep till the pain washes through me. I was 3 years old when my father left us, so I don't have that many memories of him but the ones I do have aren't pleasant. Anytime my brother ans I would go visit him he'd either be to hung over to pay attention to us or to lazy to really care. I don't know how many times growing up did I feel miserable when I had to see him so at one point when he stopped putting in any effort to see us I just stopped trying to see him. After awhile I just grew this numbing pain inside my heart from it. Every time I'd see a movie about a father and daughter together at her wedding or anything like that , the pain would sweep through me. Don't get me wrong I have a step dad and we used to be close but things changed as I got older. Even having a step dad still can't fill the emptiness in my hear that my real father has left there. I will never have my father at my wedding giving me away or any important moments in my life. Two years ago he came to talk to me and said he was sorry for his selfish ways and that he wanted a relationship with me. I did not trust a word he said because I've heard it all before way too many times...I sat there crying being unable to say all the things I've been wanting to for years. A father is supposed to be the the one man in your life that you should always be able to count on and he let me down. He did it again , he turned his back on me after he swore he had changed. I think no matter what I will never truly get over this pain in me because I feel that maybe in a small way I had something to do with the reason why he never cared about me. I know it's stupid to think that but it's hard not to...I think that's why I tried sooo hard to keep my uncle in my life because he was someone I looked up to. His opinion of me mattered alot and growing up I always looked forward to his visits. Now I just feel left behind by him to and it hurts so effing much. I wanted him to be in my life but he won't even try, he doesn't even care and it feels like someone took a knife and stabbed me with it..
Monday, 20 August 2012
Am I afraid to love again? Am I afraid to get attached to someone again? Am I afraid of letting my heart feel again? YES I am..I do have feeling for someone but I keep burying them inside of my self, and lying to my self when I say I feel nothing. I know it's bad to do this to my self but I'm scared to get attached to him because he's not here plus I'm super scared that if I let someone into my heart again so soon it will be ripped apart after months of me picking up the pieces and putting them back together. I don't want to rely on some guy to make me smile and feel joy again, I'm not ready to try and make someone my everything again. Plus I don't really want to ruin the good thing I have going with him right now. So If I'm a coward and a stupid girl so be it. But until i know someone is worth for me to give them my heart I won't...
Sometimes when I sit outside and look up at the beautiful blue sky up above me I often wonder what this world look like back in the day. How people used to live their daily life, what they had to go though just to live each day. I'm such a curious person I think that's one of the biggest reasons why I love history so much. It just fascinates me to no end, I love to learn what people used to have compared to what we have now. In a way it makes me more appreciative of what I have in my life. For me being able to one day Egypt or anywhere in Europe would be a dream come true. To be able to touch a piece of history and really take it all in would be AMAZING might have a mini heart attack :p. If I ever got to see the pyramids and reach out and touch it I'd probably shut my eyes and try to envision what it looked like in all its glory. Living in Winnipeg you don't have all that must historic places and the few we do i love, gives me a sense of home almost. If I could travel back in time thought out history and see and experience everything no matter how bad or scary it would be, it'd be life changing. I'd love too see my past lives and maybe see why I'm so attached to certain time periods and certain countries. I believe if every body would take the time just reflex a little on the past maybe life would be better and people wouldn't be so self involved anymore. The past is a tool for us to learn from and grow from our mistakes but I don't feel like we are using the greatest tool at your disposal.
Thursday, 9 August 2012
I was never one to believe in God or heaven, but lately I've been really thinking about it. Who knows maybe it has to do with the books I read...Is good and evil so clear cut? or is it more grey, a thin line that sometimes people cross because they think they are doing good? I sometimes wonder if heaven exists does that mean hell does to? if so how is a decision made about who ends up were? Is there some sort of cosmic balance like the Egyptians believed in or something far greater? All questions that no one can truly answer until the day they die. I know so many people that believe in something greater then this life we live everyday until the day we perish. The thing is if God gave us free will does that mean he or she also gave the angels free will or are they more bound? MY mother and I got into a debate about such thoughts. She believes that when one dies their soul gets lifted to "paradise", but if you had a bad soul like say "Hitler" you are brought right back for a do over. She also believes that once up there you no longer feel deep all consuming love, nor fear or sorrow. I mean ya who doesn't want to be happy 24/7. I don't know it's just so hard to imagine somewhere so perfect. I many not enjoy all of of my life and some of the events that have taken place but at the same time I cherish them. If you never experienced every emotion there is out there then you aren't really living. I can't say I 100% love her theory but there are really good points, it's just I don't know . I guess I have my own views on what I hope heaven 's like. Not quite sure what they are but I know it's somewhere inside me. Honestly lately I've felt closer to God and nature then ever before. The last questions that keeps spinning around in my mind is if heaven and hell are real that would mean God and Lucifer are real too. And if so that would mean God made him, for he was one of his angels right?, so there for in a way God would have helped in creating hell...That is of course the angels have free will like us. And if Lucifer is real, is his evil as clear cut as we think it is? Or is there a bigger reason for his existence? Who knows maybe God and him work together to keep a balance in the universe..!Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Well today was quite the interesting day if I do say so my self. I don't think I've had this much fun in awhile lol..It's was round 2 for Patch in the YACrushTournament by blogger Amy. Let me just say that every TeamPatch member was on high alert today..Didn't fall asleep till five in the morning because i was too busy chatting away with Josh heheh and while doing so i kept checking on the happenings on Twitter and saw that the war against the AMAZING book characters had begone. So naturally i began my Patch is AWESOME campaign. My eyes were burning and tearing up but i kept at it for a bit. I perhaps got maybe if i was lucky 4 hours of sleep. When i work up a bit after nine I already have a bunch of Twitter messages from my fav girls Miss French and Miss Jen. With my eyes only half open i took a peak at what they had said, much to my horror my lovely Patch was losing to a stinking vampire, wth right...The whole day the girls and I kept finding way to cheat and be able to vote more for our fav FALLEN ANGEL. We were all on over drive and trying to think of ways to get him more vote from the rest of the fans. Well we didn't have to wait long for the answer because thanks to the AMAZINGLY AWESOME Becca Fitzpatrick she decided that the more vote her great character got the more money she would donate to children getting book. Honestly I think that's an amazing cause, because I believe that ever child in the world deserves to have the right to read and to learn how to read. Books are one of the strongest tools know to mankind. Without imagination and the power of books and the different worlds they transport us too, the world would be a very boring place. So thanks to her "push" Patch slowly started moving up in the polls. So me being semi creative made a picture to help the cause and because i posted it on FB on the Hush Hush site they took it and even mentioned me and on top of that Drew Doyon the Patch cover model shared it on his page. I was so incredibly touched that i tweeted to him. I never thought he would answer back but he totally did and i was in ah lol. Patches army was kicking some major ass that we ended up hitting the numbers of votes we had to so that Becca would donate YAY us!!The polls got close to each other that Miss Frenchy and I lost it a few times and lost it hahha and Miss Jen had to straighten us out hehehh. But in the end we all prevailed and Patch won the fight to go onto round 3. I'm so happy that I caved and joind Twitter because I met the most amazing people like Miss Frenchy, Miss British, Miss Jen , PatchesOtherGirl among others :) I've gotten tweets from my favourite authors and more. I don't think there could have been a better advocate for Patch, because Jen did an amazing job regardless if all of us fans helped her man win the match. I'm looking forward to round 3, it's going to be a nail bitter, have to work on my art work for it :)
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
People in this day and age spend too much time focusing on the lives of the "famous"crowd, instead of concentrating on whats going on in their own. If people stopped focusing so hard on other peoples life maybe things in this world would change, or maybe not but one never knows unless change is mad. Sure I'm like every other person on the planet i read my gossip magazines and love juicy relationship scandals lol after all i am only human:p. Biggest scandal hitting the news stands is Kristen Stewart has cheated on the love of her life Robert Pattinson......OH NO THE WORLD IS OFFICIALLY OVER.!!!!!hahah or so some people would like to think. I don't know why people are getting so upset about this and acting like it has ruined their lives. Some lady actually posted a video on YouTube yelling and getting frustrated because K-Stew cheated and how she is a terrible person and that people should be butting into their lives. Yet by posting this video she is doing exactly what she's complaining about, she is whining over other peoples lives whom she doesn't or will ever know. She literally cried tears over it, CRIED like seriously why!!on earth would you cry over something like that. People got to calm down when it comes to the celebrity lives and change their brain waves onto matters of the world that are more tragic then a teen breakup...
Has the world really evolved since our early years or is now more primitive? This day in age we have developed better technology but at what cost? Sure medical development has never been better but at the same time more people now days are dying because of malnutrition and starvation. Technology may have advanced us in medical, but not all advancements are for the better. Now days weapons are more assessable and deadlier. Most country don't have any gun control nor does the government really care on that matter. Innocent blood is being shed all over the world every day. In the Middle East family are gunned down, people are blown up and families are ripped apart. Women have no rights and aren't free to be their own person. Children in Africa are still starving to death no matter how much effort the rest of the world puts in to help. It seems that the world has become more violent and chaotic thanks to new technology, people have become more selfish and cold towards the things that should matter. this world is in so much disarray and no one seems to really care or know how to help stop it. Look at what happened in Colorado, so many Innocent people where killed and injured, and it could have been some what prevented if there had been a law against purchasing so much ammunition and guns. Everything going on this world is saddening and tragic. It makes my heart hurt and really believe that no we haven't truly changed, we have only gotten worse and more barbaric.......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)

