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Thursday, 20 October 2011
So my life has completely turned a 180 in the last couple of weeks its nuts...its hard to swallow all the changes that have happened. I finally gave my two weeks notice for my crappy ass job, now on the hunt for a new one with not much luck sadly ( thank god I've got money in my savings). I finally decided to register for school pretty excited yet uber nervous, hopping for the best and hopefully i don't totally suck at broadcasting. Just found out that my grandpa might have cancer so I'm freaking out a little bit, hope after all the tests are done that it comes back negative ugh :(... I guess all the crap and bullshit that's gone down this month toughened me up enough to stop being so afraid and to let go of all the stress and bullshit from people in my life. I'm just so glad i don't have a gaping hole in my chest nore have i cried once since all went to hell..guess I'm just so immune to it now it cant really affect me like it used to, and probably cuz i know it was gonna happen sooner or later, maybe not hear the shit that it did but i know it was bound to happen. Maybe its cuz for the first time i wasn't the one that went back that i knew it was all fake and that none of it was real. i mean come on it didn't take a genius to figure out that i was being used and that i didn't really matter ( never have mattered) to them so w.e in all reality its not my lose. I mean duh it hurt to hear that shit cuz i had felt everything i had said but not enough to destroy me like he was hopping for ( I'm so sorry, NOT). i mean ya clearly there is so much id like to have said but what would have been the point, i got the closure I've been needing for almost three years. Love is a very complicated thing, like someone once said " it sucks when the person you love doesn't love you back" and a very amazing artist once said " sometimes it last in love, but sometimes it hurts instead". life moves on, no more looking to the past, now its time to look at the future :). At least i can say thanks to the asshole i made a great friend so i guess that means i cant totally regret  meeting him, as she has said " everything happens for a reason ".  Time to follow a new path...