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Friday 26 October 2012
Since I thought my life went to hell a year ago a lot has changed. I've met wonderful new people whom I love dearly. Started a new job which I enjoy it a lot just not enough hours sadly. I feel like I'm on the brink of finally deciding what to take for school. My confidence level has gone up some what so that's great. I definitely learnt a lot about my self that has opened my eye to a lot of crap that went down last year. I've come to realise that i was so scared to lose someone who I thought was the most important person in my life, that i became to attached, to forceful. Thinking back on it now its like yikes..I scare my self. I guess I was just really wanted someone to care about me and not to leave. But by being that way I was ( not saying they were Innocent cuz they weren't) I ended up pushing them away, in all honesty i don't blame them. In a way I'm glad it happened because i learnt from it. Plus in the long run them not being in my life is a good thing. I'm not going to say that through out the year it was easy, because it wasn't. But I can remember when Thanksgiving came around and I walked into the living room and it hit me*bam* and I looked at my mom and said "hmm today is Oct,8th it's officially been a year" it didn't bug me or cause me pain like I thought it would have. For a long while all I could do was think about it, but now it's just a thought at the back on my mind. I'm way more guarded now about my feelings or letting my self like someone. Sometimes the past is a good thing to reflect upon because it can teach us the order of our mistakes and how to learn from them..Life is one big journey with many bumps in the road that leads to many different out comes.
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