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Thursday, 5 May 2011
I am not a fool for falling in love with someone i know is no good for me. I am not foolish for loving him more then he'd ever love me. So please people fuck off and leave me alone im not in the mood to hear your words right now. I dont want to listen to you telling me im stupid and naive for trusting him after our history. I dont need this shit from you guys right now. I want to be left alone and be lost in my thoughts.I don't want to hear i told you so that this was going to happen to me. I dont want you to pity me for my choices in life. Im sorry world that when i care about someone i cant just cast off my feelings like most people can. I know i have a problem letting go of things and people. If someone had impacted my life its hard for me to forget it and move on. Im not a guy i cant just wish away my feeling and forget shit cuz believe me i wish i had that talent. I wish i could be a heartless bitch and block people from getting in because maybe i wouldnt be this way. Hopeless and a mess, i gave him to much control over me and that was my mistake, ii shouldnt have let him in again and keep hoping he would change....He lied to me when he had the chance to tell me the truth....Its too late now no matter what he says i will never trust him again, he's sorrys mean nothing to me anymore because ive heard them all before but he keeps doing the same shit over and over again.....Im not some toy of yours that you can play around with, im a human being, i have a heart, i have feelings if you hadn't noticed. I feel pain just like everyone else, im not heartless or cold, i feel , im not just someone you made up. I breath and walk and talk, im alive, i go on every day living just like you do. Im not a puppet that you can pull on my strings when ever you feel the need to. If i was important to you even as just a friend you should have been honest with me from the start instead of telling me the things you did..Fuck.....