Hmm my 21st

SO last night my girls came over to get ready to go out for my birthday, it was some real fun :p my hair was being so stupid megz couldnt get it to work for her so i ended up giving up and just straighting the stupid crap. It took us forever to get ready to leave plus i wasnt helping cuz i was on the comp lol. Our original plan was to be at the pub by 8 or so but nope lol we got there at 9:30, we are slow as hell to get ready:P. I swear when we got there and the way we where acting you would have thought we pr gamed or something, thats just how fucked up all three of us are :P. The moment the waitress came around it was all shots one right after another, probably not such a good idea but fuck did i feel good :P. I think i drank a littl bit more just cuz i was feeling like crap cuz i started shit yet again with he who shall not be name ugh. But anyways this other waitress came around to give us free beer and im not a beer fan but heck why not its free and i knew if i didnt drink it one of my besties would. She got so hammered it was so funny at one point during the night she was so gone that she took her drink and her straw and shoved the straw up her nose and snorted it up her nose hahahahah god her face was priceless :P. After awhile though me and her left to go get fresh air cuz she started to have a bit of a melt down so i took her out side too cool her off a bit. I just sat there and listened to her and tried to tell her that no matter what has ever gone down between us in the past 11 years i put behind me the past is the past and i know its hard for her to trust and show how she feel and i understand that and i wouldnt abandon her for anything, it just hit home listening to her though cuz its like i was listening to he who shall not be named, and what he must feel and think and i felt like shit. i drank more after that, and when we got home i sent him like a billion messages on msn and one on fb, i think hes still mad at me and i hate it, i fuck things up so much, its not all his fault all this crap happened maybe if i was a little more understanding then it wouldnt have been so messed up. My friends passed out but i just couldnt sleep my mind was spinning and hurt like a bitch and i was just thinking too much, i was so pathetic that last night i turned on my ipad and passed out to him picture on it, i just couldnt delete them off of it. I woke up at six and just started crying and feeling like shit...ugh but ya then my girls woke up and we talked and had some more good laughs and then they left and i passed out cuz it felt like i had a hammer in my head :P but ya that was my wonderful night :P it was fun, it was good to let loose and have lots of fun and feel nothing :)

Heart on Fire

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Hmm my 21st

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