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Saturday, 9 April 2011
I can't breath or sleep. You walked back into my life when I was finally starting to let you go and move on but now, with everything you are saying hurts me to my core. You say you still want me but is that even true? Do you really care if I walked away from you right now and never looked back? Why do I still care and worry about you? I lay in bed asking god to keep you safe and make sure you're safe, and I never pray. Why must I still love you and miss you when you're with someone else. You're a wreak, a mess your life is spiraling out of control and you don't know how to deal with it. You've become greedy and selfish and self absorbed. You only care about you feelings then anyone else's, you don't think about the consequences of your actions nor do you think about the effect you have on those people. I wish you'd grow up and learn, I wish you had a better life right now, I wish I was what you truly wanted. Because I truly wanted you forever and always, yes I may have not known you all that much but I got to learn about you and love you anyways. I always wanted to be a girl you could have been proud of, someone who you could say to the world that's right guys she's mine and I love her. I care to much about you to cast you away forever, I want to be a part of you life but I don't know if I'm emotionally ready. You have ruined me for all of eternity, you are a plague I can't cure, my own personally demon I can't face down....I just don't know what to think or do anymore when it comes to you, my lost cause, my hopeless hero, a guy who is domed for all of eternity.....yet I still love you and would stick by your side as a friend... Oh lord what has become of