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Saturday, 12 March 2011
Everyone in this world is addicted to something or another..whether its drug,music or booze, everyone has their own type of drug that keeps them going through life..I have many things I'm addicted too. Music is one of them I'm always with my Ipod or blasting music in my room..hence the reason why i never answer my cell cuz i never hear it hahhah my bad i know :P. But there is something out there I'm more addicted to then music and its a very sad addiction and i hate my self for admitting it :(..I'm so addicted to this guy i know, i swear its sickening, he corrupts my thoughts every day I can't get him out of my head no matter what, wait that's not true when I'm with the guy from work i get a breather for a little bit hahaha :P. have you ever been so addicted to something that it feels like its taken over your life and you couldn't live without it now that its in your life cuz i know thats how i feel most days. If things are going bad between us its like i got a cloud hanging over my head and i keep asking my self what i did wrong or whats going i think i need help i got problems i swear hahah oh boy..its like i have a need to just be around him, just see him even for a bit but i only think I'm like this cuz i never get to see him or be around him and it sucks cuz of the distance...stupid distance curse you lol..i swear i have way too many thoughts going through my mind at once, i keep trying to drown them out with music but never seems to work for too long.. i even try reading and getting lost in my books and that seems to help until it gets to the romantic crap and then im like ugh seriously, life is so not like that hahah even though you wish it where...I wish there was a way to shut off my brain for a little while and not have constant thoughts about him but its so hard i keep think what if he where here right now, what if this or what if that..i really have to stop it cuz what if might not happen so i cant keep thinking to far ahead just like he keeps telling me i shouldn't do lol but I'm a girl that's what we do we build all this crap up in our minds and when everything falls apart we are left with nothing but our dreams that will never come true, i don't know why we do this

to our selves...stupid SH for making me this way lol I still love you anyways :P